The Beginner’s Guide to Stoicism_ Tools fo - Matthew Van Natta.pdf (file not included in this release)

AI SUMMARY

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Part I

Summary of Key Concepts and Recommendations from “The Beginner’s Guide to Stoicism”

Main Ideas and Concepts:

1. Definition of Stoicism:
   • Stoicism is a practical philosophy that aims to help individuals lead flourishing lives by focusing on what they can control and cultivating a healthy mind[1].
   • It emphasizes living in harmony with nature and developing virtue[1].
2. Origins:
   • Stoicism originated in ancient Greece around 300 BCE, founded by Zeno of Citium, and later flourished in the Roman Empire[1].
   • Key figures include Zeno, Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius[1].
3. Core Principles:
   • Focus on Control: Divide situations into things within and outside your control, focusing only on the former[1].
   • Virtue: The only true good; it includes wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation[1].
   • Emotional Resilience: Develop a healthy mental outlook by redirecting attention to positive desires and aligning thoughts with wisdom[1].
4. Disciplines:
   • Discipline of Desire: Desire only what is within your complete control to free yourself from unnecessary desires[1].
   • Discipline of Action: Seek healthy relationships with others, even if they do not reciprocate[1].
   • Discipline of Assent: Separate initial reactions from final judgments to avoid negativity[1].
5. Virtues:
   • Wisdom: Applied to thought processes[1].
   • Courage: Applied to emotional life[1].
   • Justice: Applied to relationships with others[1].
   • Moderation: Applied to choices[1].
6. Modern Practice:
   • Stoicism has influenced modern therapeutic practices like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)[1].
   • It is now more secular and adaptable to various lifestyles[1].

Recommendations for Practice:

1. Daily Reflection:
   • Begin each day with a Stoic meditation to prepare for challenges[1].
   • Use tools like the Dichotomy of Control to focus on what you can change[1].
2. Evening Review:
   • Evaluate your day before sleep, reflecting on successes and areas for improvement[1].
   • Use Pythagoras’s technique: review what you did well, what you did poorly, and what you left undone[1].
3. Mindset and Actions:
   • Before any task, remind yourself to maintain harmony with nature and your moral purpose[1].
   • Ask yourself what challenges could arise and how you can be your best self in those situations[1].
4. Cultivating Virtue:
   • Practice virtue in every situation, such as giving up your seat on the bus or discussing difficulties with coworkers[1].
   • Focus on developing wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation in your daily interactions[1].
5. Community and Resources:
   • Join online communities or local groups dedicated to Stoicism for support and discussion[1].
   • Participate in events like Stoicon and Stoic Week to deepen your understanding and practice[1].

Key Takeaways:

• Flourishing Life: Aim for a life that is serene, joyful, and enthusiastic, even in challenging situations[1].
• Emotional Health: Cultivate positive emotions and reduce negative ones by focusing on what you can control and aligning your thoughts with wisdom[1].
• Personal Growth: Continuously evaluate and improve yourself through daily reflections and practices[1].

The Dichotomy of Control is a fundamental concept in Stoic philosophy, primarily articulated by the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. It emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not. This principle is intended to guide individuals toward a more tranquil and fulfilled life by focusing their efforts and concerns on areas where they can exert influence and letting go of worries about things they cannot change.

Core Principles of the Dichotomy of Control

1. Internal vs. External Control:
   • Internal Control: This includes our thoughts, beliefs, desires, aversions, and actions. These are aspects we can directly influence and are considered “within our power” by the Stoics[3][5].
   • External Control: This encompasses factors outside our direct influence, such as other people’s opinions, natural events, and broader circumstances like the economy or weather. These are “beyond our power”[7][9].
2. Focus on What You Can Control:
   • The Stoics argue that peace of mind and happiness are achieved by concentrating on what we can control—our own judgments and actions—while accepting and letting go of things that are not[2][3].
   • This approach helps reduce stress and anxiety, as it encourages individuals to not waste energy on trying to change the uncontrollable[6][8].
3. Practical Application:
   • In daily life, this means accepting setbacks and challenges that are beyond personal control while focusing on personal growth and responses to situations[2][5].
   • This mindset can improve mental well-being by fostering resilience and emotional stability, as well as reducing unnecessary stress[2][9].

Benefits of the Dichotomy of Control

• Reduced Anxiety: By relinquishing concerns about things beyond our control, individuals can alleviate anxiety and focus on what they can influence[2].
• Improved Decision-Making: By concentrating on controllable factors, decisions become more effective and aligned with personal values[9].
• Enhanced Emotional Balance: Accepting the boundary between what is within and beyond control helps maintain emotional equilibrium[2].

Misunderstandings and Clarifications

Some misunderstand the Dichotomy of Control as promoting passivity or inaction. However, Stoicism encourages active engagement with the world, focusing on what can be done in the present moment to influence outcomes positively. The Stoics advocate for taking action where possible but maintaining peace with the outcomes, understanding that not all results are within one’s control[5][8].

In summary, the Dichotomy of Control is a powerful Stoic tool that helps individuals navigate life’s uncertainties by focusing on personal agency and accepting the limitations of external influence. It encourages a proactive yet peaceful approach to life’s challenges, fostering a more resilient and contented mindset.

Citations: [1] https://ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com/web/direct-files/7742445/a9bb322f-bb67-4c31-bc0e-16eaf3a2ef74/The-Beginner-s-Guide-to-Stoicism_-Tools-fo-Matthew-Van-Natta-pages-12-37.pdf [2] https://philosophybuzz.com/dichotomy-of-control/ [3] https://www.getstoic.com/blog/what-is-dichotomy-of-control-stoicism [4] https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/1bnidp3/the_dichotomy_of_control/ [5] https://www.stoic-buddy.com/blog/the-dichotomy-of-control [6] https://modernstoicism.com/what-many-people-misunderstand-about-the-stoic-dichotomy-of-control-by-michael-tremblay/ [7] https://whatisstoicism.com/stoicism-definition/what-is-the-dichotomy-of-control/ [8] https://philosophybreak.com/articles/dichotomy-of-control-a-stoic-device-for-a-tranquil-mind/ [9] https://www.emillyplath.com/articles/the-dichotomy-of-control

Part II

In The Beginner’s Guide to Stoicism, Part II, the author introduces readers to the concept of Stoicism as an emotional toolkit. This section focuses on three main disciplines: the Discipline of Desire, the Discipline of Action, and the Discipline of Assent. Each discipline is paired with practical recommendations to help individuals cultivate a Stoic mindset.

Main Concepts

The Discipline of Desire

• Core Idea: Focuses on wanting what you have and accepting what life offers. It encourages desiring only what is within your control and fearing only what you can avoid.
• Example: In a situation like turbulence on a plane, a Stoic would focus on what can be controlled, such as their reaction, rather than the turbulence itself.

The Discipline of Action

• Core Idea: Emphasizes taking actions that are just and benefit the community. It involves acting with a “reserve clause,” acknowledging that external outcomes are beyond control.
• Example: The story of Lycurgus, who chose to rehabilitate rather than punish a wrongdoer, exemplifies Stoic justice.

The Discipline of Assent

• Core Idea: Involves accepting only what is true and within your control. It trains individuals to pause and critically assess their thoughts before forming judgments.
• Example: A Stoic would acknowledge a storm but refrain from adding unnecessary judgments like “we’re going to drown.”

Recommendations

For the Discipline of Desire

• Circle the Present: Focus only on the present moment and what can be controlled, minimizing stress and anxiety about the past or future.
• Infinite Opportunity: View every situation as an opportunity to practice virtue, regardless of the outcome.
• Pause and Compare: Before indulging in pleasures, pause to consider the long-term effects and compare them to the benefits of exercising virtue.

For the Discipline of Action

• Reserve Clause: Add “if nothing prevents it” to plans to remain centered if things don’t go as expected.
• Two Missions: Remind yourself of dual goals—completing tasks and maintaining personal contentment.
• Two Handles: Choose the perspective that allows you to handle situations positively, focusing on relationships and community.

For the Discipline of Assent

• You Are Just an Appearance: Use this phrase to challenge overwhelming value judgments and maintain objectivity.
• Bracketing: Separate initial impressions from judgments to allow for clearer, more reasoned thinking.
• Circle Yourself: Focus on what is within your control—your thoughts and actions—freeing yourself from external influences.

Part III

Summary of Key Concepts and Recommendations from “The Beginner’s Guide to Stoicism”

Main Ideas and Concepts

1. Dichotomy of Control:
   • Separate what you control from what you do not. Things in your control include opinions, pursuits, desires, and aversions. Things not in your control include body, property, reputation, and social position[1].
2. Focus on Virtue:
   • Derive happiness from things within your control, such as your virtue and actions, rather than from external events or possessions[1].
3. Positive Mental States:
   • Stoicism promotes three good passions: Joy, Wish, and Caution. These states are based on healthy value judgments and help in cultivating positivity[1].
4. Negative Emotions (Passions):
   • Negative states of mind, such as Fear, Appetite, Pleasure, and Distress, are considered diseases of the mind that need to be cured. They arise from mistaken value judgments[1].
5. Stoic Disciplines:
   • Discipline of Desire: Transfer affections from external things to your virtue.
   • Discipline of Action: Focus on the process rather than the outcome.
   • Discipline of Assent: Overcome misinterpretations of circumstances to approach life with clarity[1].
6. Emotional Resilience:
   • Practice Stoic tools to combat negative thinking and cultivate emotional resilience. Focus on what you control and value your virtue over everything else[1].
7. Social Engagement:
   • Stoicism encourages social engagement and service to the community. Focus on actions that benefit both yourself and others, guided by virtue[1].
8. Negative Visualization:
   • Mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios to prepare for challenges and remain Stoic during adversity. This helps in maintaining harmony and reducing the impact of future challenges[1].

Recommendations

1. Practice the Dichotomy of Control:
   • Regularly remind yourself what is within your control and what is not. Use phrases like “This is nothing to me” and “It was returned” to reframe your thoughts[1].
2. Cultivate Positive Thoughts:
   • Focus on the present moment and find joy in what you have. Practice gratitude and appreciate the time spent with others without dwelling on their eventual departure[1].
3. Use Stoic Tools:
   • Apply the Stoic disciplines (Desire, Action, Assent) to manage your emotions and actions. Use techniques like “Festival” to reframe challenging situations positively[1].
4. Engage in Negative Visualization:
   • Regularly visualize worst-case scenarios to prepare for future challenges. This helps in developing emotional resilience and maintaining harmony[1].
5. Develop a Daily Routine:
   • Integrate Stoic practices into your daily life, such as morning orientation and evening reflection. Use journaling and memorization to reinforce Stoic principles[1].
6. Maintain Harmony in Relationships:
   • Focus on your own actions and reactions in relationships. Use Stoic techniques to manage negative emotions and maintain respect and harmony, even in difficult interactions[1].
7. Serve Your Community:
   • Engage in activities that benefit your community, guided by virtue. This helps in feeling connected and contributing positively to the world around you[1].
8. Reflect and Practice Consistently:
   • Regularly reflect on your actions and thoughts. Practice Stoicism consistently to develop emotional resilience and a harmonious life. Use tools like the view from above to maintain perspective during challenging times[1].

Practical Steps

1. Memorize Stoic Phrases:
   • Memorize key Stoic phrases to recall them quickly during challenging moments[1].
2. Journaling:
   • Write regularly to reflect on your thoughts and actions. This helps in comparing your current state with your aspirations[1].
3. Establish a Daily Routine:
   • Incorporate Stoic practices into your daily routine, such as starting the day with a morning orientation and ending it with an evening reflection[1].
4. Negative Visualization:
   • Regularly practice visualizing worst-case scenarios to prepare for future challenges and maintain emotional resilience[1].
5. Engage with Your Community:
   • Find ways to contribute to your community, focusing on actions that benefit both yourself and others, guided by virtue[1].
6. Reflect on Your Progress:
   • Regularly assess your progress, identifying areas for improvement and celebrating successes. This helps in maintaining motivation and direction on the Stoic path[1].

The provided text from “The Beginner’s Guide to Stoicism” by Matthew Van Natta focuses on cultivating positivity through Stoic practices. Here is a summary of the main ideas, concepts, and recommendations:

Main Ideas

1. True Happiness: True happiness comes from enjoying the present without anxious dependence on the future. It involves being content with what you have and recognizing that the greatest blessings are within your reach and control.
2. Dichotomy of Control: This concept involves distinguishing between things that are within your control and those that are not. Things in your control include your opinions, pursuits, desires, and aversions. Everything else, such as your body, property, reputation, and social position, is considered indifferent.
3. Cultivating Positivity: Positivity is cultivated by focusing on what you can control and deriving happiness from your own actions and virtues rather than external events or outcomes.

Main Concepts

1. Virtue: Virtue is the foundation of Stoic happiness. It involves living in accordance with reason and ethical principles.
2. Dichotomy of Control: This is the practice of separating what you can control from what you cannot. It helps in maintaining emotional stability and focusing on what truly matters.
3. Positive Mental States: The Stoics identified three positive mental states: Joy, Wish, and Caution. These states are based on healthy value judgments and contribute to a positive and resilient mindset.

Recommendations

1. Focus on What You Can Control: Identify what is within your control and focus your efforts there. This includes your opinions, actions, desires, and aversions.
2. Practice the Dichotomy of Control: Regularly remind yourself of what you can control and what you cannot. This helps in maintaining emotional stability and making better decisions.
3. Use Stoic Phrases: Use phrases like “This is nothing to me” and “It was returned” to help manage your emotions and maintain a Stoic perspective.
4. Cultivate Positive Mental States: Work on developing Joy, Wish, and Caution. These states help in maintaining a positive and resilient mindset.
5. Take Responsibility: While focusing on what you can control, also take responsibility for your actions and obligations. This involves doing your best in every situation without being overly attached to outcomes.
6. Practice Self-Assessment: Regularly assess your own abilities and resources to cope with challenges. This helps in maintaining confidence and resilience.
7. Remain in the Moment: Focus on the present and enjoy the moments you have. This helps in cultivating joy and reducing anxiety about the future or past.

HIGHLIGHTS

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PART I FOUNDATIONS (Page 12)

CHAPTER 1: A Practical Philosophy (Page 13)

What Is Stoicism? (Page 13)

Stoicism teaches you to focus your thoughts and actions on that which you can control (Page 13)

focus your thoughts and actions on that which you can control. (Page 13)

Stoicism challenges you to evaluate both what you want and what you’d prefer to avoid. It teaches you to redirect your attention toward healthy desires and, as you do so, you’ll find that positive emotions rise up more consistently. You’ll gain emotional resilience, which will help you to overcome challenges to your happiness. (Page 14)

Above all, Stoicism aims to make you skillful at life. We call this life expertise virtue. The Stoic philosophy trains you in virtue: It sculpts your moral character into someone who is content, joyful, resilient, and able to take actions that make the world a better place. (Page 14)

MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS (Page 14)

In modern English, the word stoic is used to describe people who remain self-possessed in the face of adversity. While often admirable, to be “stoic” has the potential to become unhealthy. If you merely repress emotions, holding back inner turmoil, but never truly deal with those internal issues, the outcome can be devastating. This is not Stoicism with a capital S. Even the ancient Stoics dealt with this mischaracterization of their philosophy; their critics saw it as a cold thing. (Page 14)

ancient Stoics dealt with this mischaracterization of their philosophy; their critics saw it as a cold thing. (Page 14)

Another misconception is passivity. Stoicism says you can thrive in any situation; it teaches acceptance of the world as it is. This can be misinterpreted as apathy. “Why change,” they say, “if one can be happy even in the worst of life’s storms?” (Page 14)

misconception is passivity (Page 14)

It may seem paradoxical, but Stoic acceptance actually gives you the strength to overcome challenges. Passivity arises more often from fear than from acceptance (Page 14)

Passivity arises more often from fear than from acceptance (Page 14)

If the belligerent person’s demands are unjust, the Stoic works for justice. Stoicism teaches you to be clear-eyed so you can make the best possible choices. As you learn to trust your capacity to tackle trials, inaction and indecision stop being obstacles. When you direct your attention toward what you can control, your actions become well-aimed and effective. (Page 15)

ORIGINS (Page 15)

The founder of the philosophy was Zeno of Citium, a merchant who lost everything in a shipwreck. (Page 15)

founder of the philosophy was Zeno of Citium, a merchant who lost everything in a shipwreck. (Page 15)

He and his students would meet in a stoa, a covered walkway common in his time. His school became known as the Stoa, which is where we get the name Stoicism. (Page 15)

As time moved on, Stoicism would find its way to the Roman empire, or rather the Roman Empire would find its way to Greece. It’s with the Roman Stoics that we’ll spend much of our time. This is because the works of the Greek Stoics are nearly completely lost to us. We know that they wrote thousands of books, but we’re left with only pages. (Page 15)

Epictetus (50–135 CE), a Stoic teacher who began life as a slave and gives us the most complete example of the philosophy’s teachings; • The Roman senator Seneca (4 BCE–65 CE), who provides us with illuminating insights; • Marcus Aurelius (121–180 CE), though emperor of Rome, will be most like our peer in this journey. We have access to his personal philosophical journal, and it allows us access to the inner thoughts of a practicing Stoic. (Page 16)

MODERN STOICISM (Page 16)

Modern Stoicism focuses heavily on ethics. The ancient Stoics divided their schooling into three broad topics: physics, logic, and ethics. (Page 16)

a modern therapeutic practice, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), was influenced by Stoic writings. Much of its approach to emotional life and many of its practices align with Stoicism. CBT helps people think in a healthier way but does not provide a road map to a flourishing life. (Page 17)

Many ancient Stoics were pious pantheists who perceived the universe as a benevolent god known as Zeus. Modern practice embraces a more secular point of view. (Page 17)

ABOUT PANTHEISTS (Page 17)

believing that god is the universe or that the universe is a manifestation of god. (Page 17)

Most early Stoics believed that the entire universe was interconnected as one being, a single organism they called Zeus, who is synonymous with Nature and Reason. (Page 17)

REFLECTION (Page 18)

The next time you do anything, remind yourself: “I want to do this task, and, at the same time, I want to protect my harmony.” (Page 19)

Ask yourself: • In the task before me, what challenges could arise? • In confronting those challenges, how can I be my best self and remain in harmony with life? (Page 19)

WHY STOICISM? (Page 19)

The Stoic goal is eudaimonia, a flourishing life. (Page 19)

IN THE MOMENT Take a moment to recall a situation in which you felt content or joyful. • What aspects of that moment do you think most contributed to your happiness? • What mind-set allowed you to experience those positive emotions? (Page 21)

• How might you access that mind-set in any circumstance, not just that particular moment? (Page 22)

The Tool Kit (Page 22)

Of all the Stoic tools you will receive, the Dichotomy of Control is the most fundamental. Its premise: Some things are in your control, and some things are outside of your control. Stoics divide every situation according to this and focus only on the former. This simple practice represents the core of a Stoic’s orientation to the world. It helps you decide where to place your attention so your actions are effective. Every practice, meditation, and action begins by training your attention on that which you can control. (Page 22)

It helps you decide where to place your attention so your actions are effective. Every practice, meditation, and action begins by training your attention on that which you can control. (Page 22)

DISCIPLINES (Page 22)

The Discipline of Desire entails a radical realignment of your values as you work to desire only what is within your complete control. Redirecting your attention in this way will free you from chasing after things that do not contribute to your happiness. •

The Discipline of Action relates to your interactions with other people. The aim is to seek healthy, positive relationships with everyone you meet, even knowing others may not reciprocate. •

The Discipline of Assent concerns your thoughts about life. You learn to separate your initial reactions to the world from your final judgments about the world. You refuse to walk down mental paths that lead to negativity, instead evaluating your thoughts in order to align with wisdom. (Page 23)

VIRTUES (Page 23)

ancient Stoics tended to use four primary virtues as guides for thoughts and actions, which I refer to as: •

Wisdom

Courage (Page 23)

Justice

Moderation (Page 24)

your virtue is unified, but it can be viewed more distinctly through the facet of life you’re encountering. For example, Wisdom is virtue applied to your thought process. Courage is virtue applied to your emotional life. Justice is virtue in relationship with other people. Moderation is virtue as applied to our choices. Every situation presents an opportunity to practice virtue. (Page 24)

A core belief that separates Stoic thought from most other ancient philosophies—and modern ones—is that virtue is the only good. Stoics claim that only virtue is good in all circumstances. Justice is always good. Wisdom is never bad. The things many consider “good”—money, fame, and even health—can work to your benefit, no doubt, but can also play out in damaging ways. Stoicism challenges you to focus on virtue, because when you are your best self you will use the stuff of life in the best way. (Page 24)

virtue is the only good (Page 24)

Rules to Live By (Page 24)

Remember: Your mind is yours—and yours alone. If you focus on healthy thoughts and develop balanced opinions about your situation, you will cultivate positive emotions and find lasting enthusiasm to live your best life. You will see negativity for what it is: a waste of energy. You will learn to stop allowing fear, anger, and other anxieties to grow. You will discover not only that you can weather challenges, but you often find them enjoyable. As you move in this direction, the work of being yourself will become a joy. To gain all of this, you simply need the right tools and the will to use them. (Page 25)

CHAPTER 2: A Quick Trip Through History (Page 27)

Before Stoicism (Page 27)

Before Zeno of Citium developed the philosophy that became Stoicism, he studied quite a few philosophies. His first influence came from the Cynic teacher, Crates. One of the Cynics’ core tenets will sound familiar: The purpose of life is to live in virtue. Cynics practiced virtue by rejecting more conventional desires. Zeno also studied Platonism under Xenocrates and Polemon. Like Plato’s followers, Zeno held Socrates up as an exemplary human. The Stoics considered themselves direct philosophical (Page 27)

descendants of Socrates. Zeno also studied the Megarians, who may have influenced his belief in the unity of virtue. (Page 28)

“Not to feel exasperated or defeated or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human —however imperfectly—and fully embrace the pursuit you’ve embarked on.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5:9 (Page 32)

Applying the Theory (Page 36)

Let’s use Pythagoras’s technique to review your most recent past: yesterday. Ideally, practice this every night, just before going to sleep. First, look back on your day: What do you feel was unsuccessful? What did you do well? Finally, is there anything that you left undone that could be addressed tomorrow? Celebrate your triumphs. Use lessons from your mistakes to make progress tomorrow. (Page 36)

PART II YOUR NEW EMOTIONAL TOOL KIT (Page 38)

CHAPTER 3: Thinking Like a Stoic (Page 39)

Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option, to accept this event with humility, to treat this person as he should be treated, to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7:54 (Page 39)

Think Stoically (Page 39)

The Stoic mind-set is unshakable. This mind-set doesn’t develop by shrinking from the world, but by engaging with your community in a reasonable and affectionate way. After all, your goal is to live in harmony, and harmony involves other people. (Page 39)

Essential Tools (Page 40)

The disciplines, paired with the virtues, will help you cultivate a healthy mind-set that allows you to be your best self in every situation. (Page 40)

THE DISCIPLINE OF DESIRE: WANTING WHAT YOU HAVE (Page 40)

As long as you do what’s proper to your nature, and accept what the world’s nature has in store—as long as you work for others’ good, by any and all means—what is there that can harm you?” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 11:13 (Page 40)

Epictetus believed the Discipline of Desire was the most important practice for a new Stoic. (Page 40)

Desire is an expansion of your mind toward something you want; the opposite of aversion (or fear), which is a contraction from something. (Page 40)

Epictetus explained the point of controlling desire and aversion with a simple truth: If you never get what you want, you will never be happy, and if you run into what you’ve been trying to avoid, you will lose whatever happiness you have. To develop consistent happiness, you must train yourself to desire only (Page 40)

If you never get what you want, you will never be happy, and if you run into what you’ve been trying to avoid, you will lose whatever happiness you have. To develop consistent happiness, you must train yourself to desire only what you can always have, and fear only what you can always avoid.

The Discipline of Desire exists to give you this mind-set, one that remains undisturbed by life’s challenges. (Page 41)

what you can always have, and fear only what you can always avoid. (Page 41)

The Stoic mind-set involves understanding what you can control and what you cannot. You ask yourself—what desires can I always obtain, and what things can I always avoid? The Stoic answer is if you only desire to be your best (to live with virtue) and if you only avoid moral mistakes (called vice), then you can always succeed because these are things that you control. (Page 41)

To manage both your desires and aversions, you must focus on the present. The things we control are here, in this moment. As Seneca put it, “These two things must be cut away: fear of the future, and the memory of past sufferings. The latter no longer concerns me, and the future does not concern me yet.” (Page 41)

Wishing things were different is a waste of energy (Page 42)

Circle the Present (Page 42)

Then remind yourself that past and future have no power over you. Only the present —and even that can be minimized. Just mark off its limits.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8:36 (Page 42)

you only allow yourself to dwell on the present, essentially fencing yourself off from the future and the past. Take a breath. Draw your attention to the present moment. The past is finished. The future is unknowable. Leave anxieties about the future alone; they solely exist in your imagination. You can only act in the present. (Page 43)

Infinite Opportunity (Page 43)

If you stop focusing on outcomes—but instead desire being your best at every moment—you’ll understand that every situation provides an opportunity to practice virtue. (Page 43)

When confronted by a challenge, ask yourself: • How can I benefit from this? • What virtue can I draw on to meet this moment? (Page 43)

Pause and Compare (Page 43)

If you have received an impression of any pleasure, guard yourself and create a delay. Then think of the time you will enjoy the pleasure, and the time after, when you will repent and be disappointed with yourself. On the other side, imagine your happiness if you resist the temptation and get to commend yourself for the victory.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 34 (Page 43)

Step 1 is to find a way to delay your choice. Can you leave the area for a moment? Can you pause and take a breath? Give yourself time to think. Next, compare two possibilities: choosing the pleasure versus choosing excellence (virtue). Remember that the pleasure includes both the moment you do it and your feelings about yourself after the fact. This practice will help you overcome initial impulses and make a more reasoned choice. (Page 44)

The View from Above (Page 44)

Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, and picture yourself from above. As you look at yourself, pull back, and see your neighborhood. Then your town, your country, the world, perhaps even the universe. As you do this, at each stage, put your challenges in relationship to what you are seeing. Notice that others are also confronting challenges. Understand that the world isn’t so focused on you that your mistakes are seen by all. Allow your troubles to fade into the distance for this moment. Find peace in the world and in your small part of it. (Page 44)

“Don’t panic before the picture of your entire life. Don’t dwell on all the troubles you’ve faced or have yet to face, but instead ask yourself as each trouble comes: What is so unbearable or unmanageable in this? Your reply will embarrass you. Then remind yourself that it’s not the future or the past that bears down on you, but only the present. Always the present, which becomes an even smaller thing when isolated in this way and when the mind that cannot bear up under so slender an object is chastened.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS 8:36 (Page 45)

THE DISCIPLINE OF ACTION: WHAT YOU DO (Page 45)

Discipline of Action is focused on the virtue Justice (Page 45)

First, learn to take actions with a “reserve clause” (more on this soon). (Page 45)

• Second, learn to choose actions that benefit both yourself and others. • Third, develop a healthier value system that will free you to take just actions. (Page 46)

Reserve Clause (Page 46)

How can you take an action and remain centered if it doesn’t work out? (Page 46)

If nothing prevents it” allows space for the Stoic perspective. I want to do x, I understand that I don’t control that outcome. If you use the reserve clause consistently, you’ll find stability even when life shakes a project or two. A love of humanity shapes all Stoic actions. The early Stoics considered each of us to be part of a single organism, as though we were all individual cells that make up a body. Marcus Aurelius said we were made to work together like the top and bottom row of teeth. He also said that acting against others was a seditious act, ripping us apart from our natural community. (Page 47)

When does a Stoic stop? Why abandon a project when you see the world as indifferent and have the courage to act despite obstacles? In this quote, Marcus Aurelius points out that there are times when resistance to our actions will force a reevaluation of our options. He presents two practices as solutions to the dilemma, which we’ve named infinite opportunity and the reserve clause. Infinite opportunity reminds us that every challenge presents a chance to practice virtue. The emperor uses his failed attempt to enact justice as an opportunity to practice acceptance and peaceability. He also uses the reserve clause to show that he never actually failed. He hoped for a particular outcome, but (Page 47)

he also wanted to act well and to remain his best self. His goal was to do his best and—at this—he succeeded. When you have to decide whether to abandon a particular project or not, ask yourself two things: • Have I done the best that I could? • In this new situation, what opportunities do I have to be my best self? After this, do what wisdom tells you is best. (Page 48)

Two Missions (Page 48)

Whenever you get ready to do anything, think about what’s coming and what obstacles could pop up. Then add a phrase about your higher goal: “I also want to be content” or “I want to be in harmony with life” or “I want to protect my best self.” (Page 48)

Two Handles (Page 48)

The metaphor of two handles will remind you that your approach to a challenge is a choice. In Epictetus’s example, you can repay injustice with injustice, or you can choose to be your better self. This is always your choice. In any situation, particularly those that are challenging, remind yourself that there are two ways to engage, and pick the better one. (Page 49)

The Morning Orientation (Page 49)

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: These are unnatural. (Page 49)

THE DISCIPLINE OF ASSENT: ACCEPTING YOURSELF (Page 50)

People feel disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 5 (Page 50)

The Discipline of Assent trains you to pay attention to your thought process and cultivate a healthy mind. Assent, in Stoicism, means saying yes to information you have received. Stoicism asks you to pause and think about your responses to life, rather than allowing instinct and habit to run your life. (Page 50)

There’s a story of a Stoic teacher who was traveling by boat when a huge storm threatened to capsize the ship and drown the crew. A fellow passenger noticed that the Stoic got pale just like everyone else, but unlike the rest, he never showed fear. After the storm ended, the passenger questioned the Stoic. “It looked like you were frightened, I saw your face get pale. Isn’t that against your teaching?” The Stoic explained that our initial reactions aren’t up to us, they are natural responses to a sudden event. What Stoicism had taught the teacher was to only accept the fact that a storm was happening. Other thoughts, such as “this is dangerous” or “we’re going to drown,” he never accepted, instead choosing to focus on keeping everyone afloat. Learning to guide your thought process in this way will allow you to put stresses aside and focus your energy on what you control. (Page 50)

The Discipline of Assent requires your attention. Stoics saw assent as a three-step process: • First, something happens to you (initial impression). (Page 50)

• Next, you recognize what happened (objective representation). • Finally, you add your own spin on events (value judgment) (Page 51)

Take in the objective representation, but say no to any other thoughts that start to build on that impression. Instead, give yourself space to better judge the situation. (Page 51)

You Are Just an Appearance! (Page 51)

“You are just an appearance and not at all the thing you appear to be.” This is a phrase given to us by Epictetus specifically to help with the Discipline of Assent. Whenever an overwhelming value judgment forms in your mind, pause and repeat that line. Say no to the judgment until you’ve examined it further. (Page 51)

Bracketing (Page 51)

Another method to the Discipline of Assent is to bracket the initial impression, meaning you separate it from everything else, for the purpose of suspending judgment. Look at the event clearly, take it at face value. After this, you can “say something more.” Ask basic Stoic questions such as, “Is it under my control?” This allows for a clearer head and a more reasoned judgment. (Page 52)

Circle Yourself (Page 52)

The exercise is similar to circle the present from the Discipline of Desire. Now you are bringing to mind what is most important about yourself, your ability to control your thoughts, actions, desires, and aversions. Mentally separate this aspect of yourself from the rest of the world, reminding yourself that this part of you alone is fully under your control. Take a moment and think only about this part of yourself; your will that directs your thoughts and actions. Free yourself from outer influences so that you can choose the best action for you. (Page 52)

ASSENT, DESIRE, AND ACTION (Page 53)

In reality, life is messy, and the disciplines don’t stay separate. Most challenges require you to make proper use of assent, focus your desires in the right way, and take the best action possible. (Page 53)

THE OPPOSITE OF DISCIPLINE (Page 54)

Note that, as you improve, you may be tempted to demand the same from other people. Refrain from that urge. Instead, keep the standard you develop for yourself personal. (Page 54)

CHAPTER 4: Acting Like a Stoic (Page 55)

Stoic Actions (Page 55)

Virtue means excellence, the best example of who you can be. (Page 55)

Moral virtue, like ripeness, is also a thing that cannot be saved up—you can’t bank some virtue on Monday to withdraw later in the week. You can only be virtuous, or excellent, in the moment. A minute later and you might find excellence again, or you could fail. You have endless opportunities to exercise virtue. (Page 55)

Modern philosopher Pierre Hadot defines the virtues as follows:

• Wisdom, “the science of what ought or ought not to be done.” (Page 55)

• Courage, “the science of what ought or ought not be tolerated.”

• Justice, “the science of what ought and ought not be distributed.”

• Moderation, “the science of what ought or ought not to be chosen.” (Page 56)

Stoic Virtues (Page 56)

The practices found within the disciplines exist to hone your virtue; their structure is important, but only if you use it to live up to your potential. (Page 56)

The virtues implied one another: Wisdom is necessary for Justice. Justice informs Moderation, and so on. Still, thinking about the particular expressions of virtue will help you find clarity around your choices. (Page 56)

WISDOM (Page 56)

Wisdom stands in opposition to thoughtlessness. You are wise when you take deliberate, reasoned actions that lead to a good flow in life. As you think about Wisdom, it might be helpful to see how it was further subdivided into the following: • good sense • good calculation • quick-wittedness • discretion • resourcefulness (Page 57)

The primary role of Wisdom is to lead you to the good: to focus your attention on healthy thoughts, opinions, desires, and aversions. Wisdom’s other role is to guide your decisions concerning the stuff of life. Should I choose this or that; do this or that? (Page 57)

Wisdom requires consistent mental attention. You must strive to examine your thought process. Practicing Wisdom requires understanding that you don’t have to accept the first reaction that pops into your mind. Instead, you can build a space between your reaction and your next steps. Looking back at the Discipline of Assent, you can see how closely those practices and this virtue align. (Page 57)

When anything presents itself to you, particularly if it seems in some way overwhelming, stop and define it at its most basic. Do not add value judgments. Clear away its mystique so that you can move forward with a clear head. (Page 58)

COURAGE (Page 58)

Courage (andreia) is mastery over your fears. It stands in opposition to cowardice. Courage is one of two virtues that are linked to the Discipline of Desire. If you no longer focus your desires and aversions toward the external world, but instead strive for virtue, you will unleash the power to act against the intolerable. The Stoics break Courage down into the following: • endurance • confidence • high-mindedness • cheerfulness • industriousness (Page 58)

If you no longer focus your desires and aversions toward the external world, but instead strive for virtue, you will unleash the power to act against the intolerable. (Page 58)

Stoicism taught me that other people’s reactions weren’t my direct responsibility. I could only control how I thought and acted, and if I did that well, the likelihood of others acting better also increased. The Stoic mindset gave me Courage. I no longer avoided the reactions of others. Instead, I avoided cowardice, hesitation, and dread. I did that by striving both to be my best in every situation and to make the best out of every situation (Page 59)

Seneca once wrote, “Something already anticipated comes as less of a shock.” A common Stoic practice involves visualizing the worst possible scenario. This helps clear your head. When you view the challenge from a Stoic point of view, if a similar event occurs in the future, you can more easily concentrate on living virtuously. (Page 59)

JUSTICE (Page 60)

Justice equates to cooperation. As Marcus Aurelius says, “We are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature.” (Page 60)

honesty • equity • fair-dealing • goodwill • benevolence • kindness (Page 60)

It is a Stoic maxim that no one is voluntarily evil. If a person insults you or steals from you, they did it because they thought they were doing something good for themselves Epictetus says a Stoic will be “patient, gentle, delicate, and forgiving, as he would toward someone in a state of ignorance, who missed the mark when it came to the most important things. He will not be harsh to anyone, for he will have perfectly understood Plato’s words: ‘Every soul is deprived of the truth against its will.’” (Page 61)

As you aim for just outcomes, realize that what you control are your intentions and the actions that come from them. Focusing on your own actions will give you the best chance of reaching external goals. (Page 61)

MODERATION (Page 61)

appropriateness • modesty • self-control (Page 62)

If you direct your desire toward being your best self, you won’t focus on getting things, but on using the things you already have. (Page 62)

How do you treat things when you know you’re only borrowing them? All things are impermanent. What you have today will be used up, might break or be taken away, and won’t be yours forever. If you live as if things are permanent, in a world where that is never true, it will hurt to lose them. That hurt comes from unrealistic thoughts. If you assume that good health is your right, then even a simple cold will seem unjust and cause you to act poorly. If you believe your job will last forever, a layoff will devastate you. It doesn’t have to be this way. If you accept that things are only yours for a time, then you can be happy you had them while you did and not fall apart when they’re gone. (Page 63)

the love of fate is a key mind-set for building Moderation into your life. (Page 63)

THE OPPOSITE OF VIRTUE (Page 63)

Seneca describes Stoicism like this, “No school has more goodness and gentleness; none has more love for human beings, nor more attention to the common good. The goal which it assigns to us is to be useful, to help others, and to take care, not only of ourselves, but of everyone in general and of each one in particular.” (Page 63)

INDIFFERENTS (Page 64)

When Stoics say, “virtue is the only good,” they mean it. Stoics place everything else, everything that isn’t a moral opinion, thought, or action, into a category called the “indifferents.” (Page 64)

Categorizing everything outside of our control as an indifferent says you recognize that such things, in themselves, can’t provide lasting happiness (Page 64)

They call those things that usually benefit us preferred indifferents and things that are often detrimental to people dispreferred indifferents. Here’s a list of indifferent things given by Epictetus: • your body • your property • your reputation • your job • everything else that isn’t your own doing (Page 64)

But don’t these things matter? Of course they do! But their value is significantly different than virtue’s value. Wisdom is always to your benefit. Courage will always help you. Your job? (Page 64)

It’s helpful to receive a paycheck, but a job can also make demands on your time that can harm your well-being. (Page 65)

As you grow in that practice, you will understand the things you do not control also don’t have to control you: Your opinions, thoughts, and actions are yours to choose, and no one and nothing can influence them without your consent. This will change your relationship to indifferents; you’ll find that their value isn’t found within them but is based in how you choose to use them. (Page 65)

“If you do not know to which port you are sailing, then no wind is favorable.” —SENECA, LETTERS FROM A STOIC 71 (Page 65)

WHAT ARE YOUR PRINCIPLES? (Page 66)

PART III STOICISM FOR LIFE (Page 68)

CHAPTER 5: Cultivating Positivity (Page 69)

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of humankind are within us and within our reach. A wise person is content with their lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what they have not.” —Seneca, On the Happy Life (Page 69)

Positive Thoughts (Page 69)

Both the Greeks and the Romans believed in and worshipped the goddess Fortune, a beautiful, blind woman who would hand out and take away gifts from the people she met. In a story called “The Tablet of Cebes,” Fortune is seen among a crowd of both sad and joyful people. The happy ones had just received her gifts and called her “Good Fortune.” The ones who lost their gifts were despondent and named her “Bad Fortune.” The Stoics would say that if you build your emotional life around Fortune’s gifts, then there will be nothing constant in your life. How can you have any assurance of happiness if it can be snatched away at any moment? Wouldn’t it be better to find a secure happiness? Stoicism trains you to move your emotional well-being away from Fortune’s indifferent gifts and to re-center it on virtue, your own best efforts in life, which is firmly within your own control. (Page 69)

Focus: What You Can Control (Page 70)

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, our social position, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 1 (Page 70)

Epictetus gives us four categories that you control directly: • your opinions about life • what you pursue in life • what you want • what you do not want (Page 70)

These are all linked to another term I’ve used before: value judgments. Your values, and what you try to do because of those values, remain intimately yours. (Page 70)

A middle ground of “sort of in your control” does not exist in the black-and-white practice of the Dichotomy of Control. Something is either 100 percent in your control or an indifferent. If you place your emotional well-being in something that Fortune can take from you, or will never give you, you’ll always remain vulnerable to the ups and downs of life. If, instead, you derive happiness from things that you possess, you can enjoy happiness and the gifts life does give you while you have them. (Page 71)

“Learn to ask of all actions, ‘Why are they doing that?’ Starting with your own.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS 10:37 (Page 72)

Remember: The one thing you control is yourself. As you learn to seek out a good flow of life, look at your own choices first, before judging the actions of others. (Page 72)

Up to You (Page 72)

In every situation, remind yourself that you own your value judgments and decisions—you control them. Your opinions, choices, desires, and aversions rest with you; everything else falls into the category of indifferent. By accepting this, you become free to act with excellence and virtue at all times. You will still use the indifferent things in life in the best way possible, but gaining or losing them won’t affect your harmony. Remaining focused on the right things allows space for positivity and resilience in the face of life’s ups and downs. (Page 72)

This Is Nothing to Me (Page 73)

The dramatic nature of “this is nothing to me” can bring your thoughts back to the Dichotomy of Control, to circling both yourself and the present, to disciplining desire and action and assent. You can’t control that future thing, so don’t let it impact your present happiness. (Page 73)

It Was Returned (Page 73)

“The only possession the wise person has is virtue, and of this they can never be robbed. Of all else they have merely the use on loan.” —Seneca, On the Firmness of the Wise Man (Page 73)

Accepting that nothing lasts forever will help you engage with things in the moment. (Page 74)

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY (Page 74)

Knowing what you control doesn’t free you from the obligations of life. You have to eat. You would prefer a roof over your head. You have friends and family that you love and whom you want to help. So, how can you interact with indifferents while not becoming overwhelmed by them? You already have many tools to draw upon! You’ve already learned the reserve clause and two missions, both of which help you move forward while remembering to remain your best self. The archer reminds you how to focus on your actions without obsessing over the outcome. Premeditation of challenges and infinite opportunity help you remain confident that no matter the challenges ahead, you can act with excellence. Stoicism allows you to take action without feeling weighed down by false expectations. The Dichotomy of Control is freeing this way: It reminds you that you cannot control outcomes but can only do your best. If you concentrate on your own actions, you know that you are doing everything you can to get what you want and find joy in that fact no matter the eventual result. (Page 75)

Focusing your energy on what you can control while practicing the Stoic disciplines helps you find mental and emotional stability despite life’s ups and downs. (Page 76)

Cultivating Positive Thoughts (Page 76)

If you want lasting happiness, instead, properly arrange what’s inside you— not the things surrounding you. Not only can you experience (Page 76)

joy, tranquility, goodwill, and so many other positive emotions: you can experience these states all the time. (Page 77)

The secret involves not aiming directly for happiness— because it isn’t a destination. Happiness merely accompanies you on your journey when your travels are virtuous. (Page 77)

“For every challenge, remember the resources you have within you to cope with it.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 10 (Page 77)

Whenever you are presented with an obstacle, start with selfassessment. Do you foresee a challenge? Then you have endurance. Is someone annoying? You have patience. Take a moment to draw on your own abilities, remembering to apply those energies only on what you can control. This attentiveness keeps you on the virtuous path where happiness resides. As you follow this course in life, you will enjoy the work of being (Page 77)

yourself. Stoics place pride in moments when we’re doing our best, because we can always choose to do our best. This puts your successes firmly under your control. If you can do this, then you can never really feel frustrated. The tranquility that comes from this mind-set creates the space where positivity flourishes. (Page 78)

Consistent Stoic practice develops your state of mind into one that allows positivity to grow. Thinking back on the Discipline of Assent, the Stoics say that first, something happens to you (initial impression). Next, you recognize what happened (objective representation). Finally, you add your own spin on events (value judgment). If you have unhealthy value judgments, you will experience the negative mental states (Stoics call these passions; more on this in chapter 6). If your values align with wisdom, you will experience good passions. The Stoics wrote about three good passions that flow from a rational mind that holds healthy value judgments. They called them Joy, Wish, and Caution. (Page 78)

JOY (Page 78)

Joy is present-focused. You take Joy in the life you’re presently living. (Page 78)

WISH (Page 78)

Wish, sometimes called “willing,” means a reasonable striving for things in life. Striving is future-focused, and Wish involves our hopes for the future. This state of mind links to the Discipline of Action, in that your striving is socially directed; remember, the Stoic works for the good of the community, not just themselves. (Page 79)

CAUTION (Page 79)

Stoic is only meant to avoid vice, virtue’s opposite. Another future-focused mental state, Caution helps you make reasonable plans for the future, knowing you can take part in anything as long as you promote your virtue and avoid the possibility of vice. (Page 79)

CHAPTER 6: Practicing Emotional Resilience (Page 82)

When Bad Things Happen (Page 82)

The only way to break this cycle is to redirect your attention onto what you already own and what can never be taken from you: your virtue. If you approach life in this manner, you not only harness emotional resilience in an ever-changing world, but you will continue to cultivate positivity. With this in mind, let’s tackle negativity with every tool Stoicism provides. (Page 83)

Cultivating Emotional Resilience (Page 83)

The same tools that cultivate positivity also help banish negativity. Fear tells you to avoid a hard conversation with a friend; the Dichotomy of Control and the Discipline of Action tell you that these conversations are indifferents and that you have to try to help the people in your life. Jealousy tells you to want what someone else has, but the Discipline of Desire reminds you that you have everything you need to be content. The key is constant practice. You have to continually use your tools so that, ideally, negativity never takes root. If it does, you are aware enough to recognize and deal with it. (Page 84)

When negativity slips past your Stoic defenses, first recognize that you are stepping out of harmony with life. The Discipline of Assent will help you pay attention to your thoughts and weed out anything that no longer serves you. If an event brings up negative feelings, you can say, “you are just an appearance” and return your mind to a more peaceful state. You can use Physical Definition to take away the mystique of whatever is overwhelming your desires or aversions and get back on a healthy path. You can bracket the challenge to give yourself the space to think more clearly. As you continue to practice, you move closer to Seneca’s wise person: resilient to things that used to bother you. After enough practice, you won’t even notice things that used to annoy you! (Page 85)

Negative Emotions (Page 86)

Passions, in Stoic language, are mental states based on mistaken value judgments. Passions are out of harmony with life. They cannot lead to thriving, because they take you in the wrong direction. (Page 86)

The Stoics list four main passions: • Fear • Appetite • Pleasure • Distress (Page 87)

Fear (Page 87)

Some of the feelings that flow from fear are terror, hesitation, shame, shock, panic, and anguish. Fear is future-focused but focused on the wrong things. Shame, for instance, is a fear of disgrace, but who can disgrace you? If you act with virtue, no one can disgrace you, and no one can cause you to act without virtue. The opposite of Fear is the good passion, Caution, and the antidote to Fear is the consistent practice of the Discipline of Desire. The Dichotomy of Control also helps to overcome Fear. All Fears are built around indifferents. If you learn to see indifferent things as outside of your control, you will be released from fearing such things. (Page 87)

Appetite (Page 87)

future-focused. Want, hatred, contention, anger, lust, wrath, and rage all fall under this passion. Appetite is about dissatisfaction with the world and an attempt to fix that feeling with indifferent things. (Page 88)

If you can learn to only desire your own virtuous actions in life, then you won’t have an overwhelming appetite for indifferent things. (Page 88)

Pleasure (Page 88)

Pleasure is a mistaken elation over something that seems to be good in the here and now. It includes rejoicing at another’s misfortune, self-gratification, and extravagant joy, which the Stoics referred to as a dissolution of virtue. (Page 88)

Pleasure’s opposite is Joy, the state of mind that finds positivity despite the impermanence of things. (Page 88)

Marcus Aurelius says in Meditations 10:11: “As to what any man shall say or think about him, or do against him, he never even thinks of it, being himself contented with these two things: with acting justly in what he now does, and being satisfied with what is now assigned to him.” (Page 89)

Distress (Page 89)

The twin of Pleasure, Distress is an irrational contraction of the mind away from something already present. Malice, envy, jealousy, pity, grief, worry, sorrow, annoyance, vexation, and anguish all stem from Distress. Distress has no opposite passion. To overcome Distress is to allow space for all the other good passions to thrive. A technique I find particularly successful against Distress is one that I call “Festival.” (Page 89)

“Don’t panic before the picture of your entire life. Don’t dwell on all the troubles you’ve faced or have yet to face, but instead ask yourself as each trouble comes, ‘what is so unbearable or unmanageable in this?’ Your reply will embarrass you. Then remind yourself that it’s not the future or the past that bears down on you, but only the present. Always the present, which becomes an even smaller thing when isolated in this way and when the mind that cannot bear up under so slender an object is chastened.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8:36 (Page 90)

Mentally rehearsing big challenges is called “negative visualization.” You might also see it called premeditation of adversity or, as I’ve already referred to it, premeditation of challenges. The idea is to visualize worst-case scenarios. Imagine a huge challenge as though it is happening. Then apply your tools, the Dichotomy of Control, the disciplines, and a focus on virtue, to train yourself to remain Stoic during the challenge. • What is in your control? • What should you desire and avoid? • Do you give in to the value judgments that bubble up, or do you reject them? • How should you act? • Can you remain in harmony, even during this? How? (Page 92)

Can you even find joy in the moment, despite living what others would consider a catastrophe? (Page 93)

Accepting Less (Page 93)

Seneca urged Stoics to take time to deprive themselves of the finer things. As a rich and influential Roman, this practice was meant to remind him that possessions are indifferents and, if they were taken from him, he should remain content. For a few days, or a week at a time, Seneca would stay in a barely furnished room, lay on a hard mat, eat bland, basic foods, and meditate on whether the good life came from external things or from himself. (Page 93)

Many Stoics use cold showers as a way to accept discomfort as an indifferent. (Page 93)

I Knew I Was Mortal (Page 94)

Epictetus recommends you say, “I knew I was mortal,” as you contemplate your death. In his Discourses, 3.24, he says that you should not be surprised by death because it is inevitable. Death is also not up to you; it is outside your control—an indifferent. As part of nature’s harmony, we should accept death as a given. Using these thoughts, tell yourself, “Today is my last day.” Think about death as inevitable, outside of your control, and natural. How then, should you respond to death when it comes? (Page 94)

CHAPTER 7: Being of Service (Page 96)

“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?’” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5:1 (Page 96)

H umans, in the Stoic view, are naturally social, meant to engage in healthy relationships with others. (Page 96)

How Stoics Treat Others (Page 96)

“Whatever then, we shall discover to be at the same time affectionate and consistent with reason, this we confidently declare to be right and good.” —Epictetus, Discourses 1:11 (Page 96)

Stoicism is a philosophy of love. The Stoic philosophers not only spoke of their love of wisdom, but also of their philanthropy, which means love of people. The Stoic theory of ethical development, called oikeiosis, expects you to grow in your ability to love until you have affection for the whole world. (Page 97)

The Stoic Hierocles described this growth using a series of concentric circles. The first circle of affection is yourself. The next is immediate family, followed by extended family and friends. After this comes your community, then surrounding communities, your country, and the whole of humankind. We modern Stoics tend to extend the circles outside of humanity as well, to truly encompass the world and all of its living creatures. Hierocles tells us that our task is to draw the outer circles closer to ourselves. He asks you to intentionally open yourself up to others and draw them close. The Stoic embraces the world. (Page 97)

Of course, no matter how much affection you show the world, you know that it doesn’t always reciprocate. Stoicism is not naive in its acceptance of others. Recall the good passions. You will Wish the best for others, but you have Caution as protection when people exhibit less than their best behavior. (Page 97)

A great example of this Caution is in Meditations 6:20, in which Marcus Aurelius uses the example of a wrestling match: “In the ring our opponents can gouge us with their nails or butt us with their heads and leave a bruise, but we don’t denounce them for it or get upset with them or regard them from then on as violent types. We just keep an eye on them after that. Not out of hatred or suspicion, just keeping a friendly distance. We need to do that in other areas. We need to excuse what our sparring partners do, and just keep our distance—without suspicion or hatred.” (Page 97)

If They Knew All My Faults (Page 98)

If you have been told that someone speaks ill of you, do not defend yourself: instead reply, ‘if they knew the rest of my faults they wouldn’t have mentioned only those.’” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 33 (Page 99)

Another person’s opinion of you cannot tarnish your virtue. And you attacking another person’s reputation equates to an unvirtuous act. Epictetus’s suggestion: Defuse the situation by acknowledging that you have flaws and then move on to another topic. (Page 99)

It Seemed So to Them (Page 99)

“When any person treats you badly or speaks ill of you, remember that they do this because they think they must. It’s not possible for them to do what you think is right, but only what seems right to them … if you understand this you will have a milder temper with those who revile you because you can always say, ‘it seemed so to them.’” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 42 (Page 99)

It seemed so to them helps you remain grounded and in harmony when a person becomes challenging. (Page 99)

FRIENDS AND FAMILY (Page 100)

In a relationship, each person has a role to play. The Stoic, of course, only controls his own role. Epictetus says that the father’s actions are of no consequence to the Stoic student, the relationship is an indifferent. The student is asked to focus his attention on his own thoughts and actions, rather than dwell on his father’s choices. He’s asked to never engage the bad passions, to be certain to not become disrespectful. He’s also told to defend himself firmly. Here again, Stoicism does not leave you passive. It is always appropriate to stand up for yourself, as long as you do so with virtue in mind. The Dichotomy of Control, when applied to relationships, is not meant to lead you to invest less in others, but to invest in yourself more wisely. You can’t control others, and their actions should not control you. If you focus on what is yours—your opinions, impulses, and desires—you will make proper value judgments, take meaningful actions, and be your best self in every relationship. Often, this will help your relationships become healthy and joyful. Sometimes your best will not be reciprocated, but you will know that you tried and have the ability to continue on in harmony no matter the outcome. (Page 101)

LIVING IN SOCIETY (Page 103)

Stoicism views all people as part of a single organism, or one big human family. (Page 103)

Stoicism encourages you to invest time and effort in your community. What moves you? What do you value in your neighborhood or what would you like to see more of? People already doing that work would likely welcome your contribution. If no one is yet doing the work, maybe you can start something. Whatever the case, as your practice improves your courage, your sense of justice, and your willingness to work with others, take initiative and put your ideas into action. (Page 104)

“Let your impulse to act and your action have as their goal the service of the human community, because that, for you, is in conformity with your nature.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS 9:31 (Page 105)

CAN STOICS CREATE CHANGE? (Page 105)

“When you do a thing because you have determined that it ought to be done, never avoid being seen doing it, even if the opinion of the multitude is going to condemn you. For if your action is wrong, then avoid doing it altogether, but if it is right, why do you fear those who will rebuke you wrongly?” —Epictetus, Enchiridion 35 (Page 106)

Stoic courage is meant to make you active. Stoic control is meant to make you focused. Stoic indifference never leads to apathy; it develops fearlessness. You’re free to pursue excellence with all the energy you can muster, when you are no longer weighed down by anxiety concerning indifferents. The Stoic mind-set makes you an activist, in whatever way that applies to your life. (Page 106)

CHAPTER 8: Continuing Your Journey (Page 108)

“Why all this guesswork? You can see what needs to be done. If you can see the road, follow it. Cheerfully, without turning back. If not, hold up and get the best advice that you can. If anything gets in the way, forge on ahead, making good use of what you have on hand, sticking to what seems right.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 10:12 (Page 108)

To change your life for the better, you can’t leave practice to chance. You can’t simply hope you’ll recall things in the hard moments. You need a plan. To assist you on your journey, I recommend three things: memorization, journaling, and developing a daily routine. (Page 109)

COMMIT IT TO MEMORY (Page 109)

memorize a quote or phrase that helps you bring them to mind. (Page 109)

JOURNAL (Page 109)

Journaling remains a key component of Stoic practice. (Page 110)

ESTABLISH A DAILY ROUTINE (Page 110)

start the day with the morning orientation and end it with the evening reflection (Page 110)

After choosing one or two things to practice daily, I suggest picking other techniques to practice at different intervals. Perhaps every Sunday morning you set aside time to meditate on the view from above, or set aside time to practice a particularly impactful negative visualization. (Page 110)

Extremes (Page 111)

few phrases onto a piece of paper that I carried in my pocket. Whenever I felt stress rising, I unfolded that page and picked whatever phrase I needed to center myself. (Page 112)

ZOOMING OUT HELPS (Page 112)

Always remember that you can try again. If you stumble in the moment, get up, refresh yourself, and start moving forward. (Page 113)

GOOD FORTUNE (Page 113)

Enjoying the good things without thinking about their impermanence will leave you vulnerable to a hard fall when change comes. Avoiding this doesn’t mean denying yourself pleasure or holding back your commitment to life in an effort to protect yourself. No. You should fully embrace these gifts. You do this by paying true attention to the moment while realizing that change is going to come. (Page 113)

Circling the present is an essential part of loving your life. When you’re with a person that you care for, draw your attention to them, to the moment you are sharing. Don’t allow your thoughts to be lost in desires or fears of the future. At the same time, don’t forget that everything you have is on loan. Someday you will return it. This makes the present moment all the more important. Why waste your time on the unknowable future when you can find happiness in the present moment? Invest fully in the now so that when change comes, there will be no sense of loss, because you truly got all you could from the time that you had. (Page 113)

Sustained Happiness (Page 115)

“Not to feel exasperated, or defeated, or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human—however imperfectly—and fully embrace the pursuit you’ve embarked on.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5:9 (Page 116)