What to do

Reinvest 8-12 hours / a week you waste
1. Get fit
2. Make money
  1. When you start making a little bit of money, you start making a lot of money
3. Put yourself in the company of strangers in the agency of something bigger than ourselves, twice a week
  1. Church group, volunteer, softball
4. No is the way to success

Opening Context and Purpose

The episode begins with Steven framing the discussion as a critical exploration of “the future of humanity,” focusing on the struggles of young men. He highlights a report titled The Lost Boys, released in March 2025, which sent shockwaves across the UK by detailing how boys are falling behind in education, employment, and mental health, while becoming more prone to crime and suicide. Steven introduces Scott and Logan as leading voices on societal and relationship issues, aiming to unpack why this crisis exists and how it can be addressed.

Key statistics set the stage:

Young women are now out-earning young men in some contexts (e.g., a 10% income gap for ages 16-24 in full-time employment).
The number of males aged 16-24 not in education, employment, or training (NEET) has risen by 40%.
Relationships where women earn more are twice as likely to end in divorce, tied to traditional expectations of male economic dominance.

Guest Introductions and Perspectives

Logan Ury: A behavioral scientist and dating coach, Logan leverages her experience at Hinge and her own research (e.g., surveys of thousands of subscribers) to address the “mating gap”—a mismatch between the men women seek and those available. She emphasizes the societal implications of declining marriage and birth rates.
Scott Galloway: A professor and data-driven commentator, Scott draws on his career analyzing economic trends and personal experiences as a man who narrowly escaped becoming a “lost boy.” He focuses on systemic factors like education, economics, and the absence of male role models.

Core Issue: Why Are Young Men Struggling?

The discussion identifies several interconnected factors driving the crisis:

Absence of Male Role Models:
- Scott cites research from Richard Reeves, noting that the loss of a male role model (e.g., in single-parent homes, which are 92% mother-led in the US) is a critical “first domino” leading to negative outcomes for boys. Boys from fatherless homes are 300% more likely to engage in criminal behavior like carrying guns or dealing drugs.
- In the US, 25% of boys grow up without a father, a figure that doubled from 11% in 1968 to 21% in 2020.
- Logan and Scott note a decline in male teachers (from one in three to 24% in schools) and male involvement in after-school programs, leaving boys without positive male influences.
Education System Misalignment:
- Schools favor traits like sitting still and organization, which align more with girls’ development. Boys are twice as likely to be suspended for the same infractions (five times if Black), derailing their educational paths.
- 70% of valedictorians are female, and women dominate tertiary education (60% of US college enrollment), while vocational programs like woodshop have disappeared, limiting paths for boys not suited to academic tracks.
- A suggestion from Richard Reeves is to “redshirt” boys—delay their school entry to age six—since 70% of girls are ready at five, but fewer boys are.
Economic Shifts:
- Young women in urban areas under 30 are out-earning men, reversing traditional gender roles. However, this shifts after age 30 when women face career setbacks due to childbirth.
- Economic policies favor the top 1%, leaving unremarkable men without viable middle-class paths. College acceptance rates have plummeted (e.g., UCLA’s from 76% to 9%), excluding many.
Biological and Social Factors:
- Boys are less resilient emotionally and mentally than girls. For example, father absence increases depressive symptoms in boys but not girls, and molested boys are 6-10 times more likely to commit suicide than girls.
- Girls mature faster biologically (e.g., prefrontal cortex development is 18 months ahead), exacerbating the maturity gap.
Dating and Relationship Challenges:
- Logan introduces “hypergamy,” where women traditionally seek partners with higher status. With women’s advancements, fewer men meet this criterion, creating a “mating gap.”
- Emotional intelligence is now a dating currency, but men were raised to be providers, not emotionally adept, leaving them unprepared.
- Online dating amplifies this: women filter for height (e.g., 6 feet, only 14% of US men), and top-tier men engage in “Porsche polygamy,” leaving average men rejected (e.g., swiping right 1,000 times for one coffee date).

Consequences of the Crisis

Mental Health: 75% of suicides in the UK and globally are male, with suicide the leading cause of death for young men in 50 countries. Listeners like Liam and Jeffrey express profound isolation and worthlessness, unable to seek help due to stigma.
Social Withdrawal: One in seven UK young men are NEET, opting out of society, often retreating to porn, gaming, or extremist online communities (e.g., Andrew Tate’s influence).
Societal Impact: Declining marriage (lowest rates in US history) and birth rates (down 20% in 20 years) threaten economic stability, as seen in South Korea’s projected population collapse.

Proposed Solutions

For Parents:
- Scott advises single mothers to involve men (e.g., uncles, coaches) in their sons’ lives and forgive themselves for struggles, citing his own upbringing with a single immigrant mother who ensured male mentors.
- Encourage physical activity and structured programs like sports or Scouts.
For Society:
- Scott advocates for vocational training, national service (noting Israel’s low depression rates due to mandatory IDF service), and more college seats to provide purpose and opportunity.
- Increase male teachers and role models in education and communities.
For Men:
- Scott’s “three Ps”: Be a provider (economically disciplined), protector (kind, defending the vulnerable), and procreator (open to relationships, taking risks).
- Logan suggests reading fiction to build empathy, addressing the emotional intelligence gap.
- Both emphasize seeking help (e.g., therapy) and building support systems to combat loneliness.
Reframing Masculinity:
- Scott rejects “toxic masculinity,” defining it as surplus value—contributing more than you take. He unlearned selfishness, teaching his sons to prioritize generosity.

Political and Cultural Reflections

Young men are shifting conservative, feeling ignored by the left’s focus on special interest groups (74% of the population per the DNC website, excluding young men). Trump’s 2024 win is attributed to this pivot, especially among under-30 males and their mothers (45-64).
The left’s vision of masculinity as “act like a woman” contrasts with the right’s conflation of it with “coarseness and cruelty,” leaving men without a positive model.

Closing Thoughts

Scott: Urges young people to forgive themselves, recognizing 18-45 as tough years. He shares his shame at his son’s birth due to financial failure, offering a “SCAFFA” method (sweat, clean eating, abstinence, family, affection) to cope.
Logan: Stresses that men and women thriving isn’t zero-sum, advocating for collective upliftment.
Steven: Ties the crisis to personal fears (losing his partner, poor choices leading to loneliness), thanking Scott and Logan for their pioneering voices.

The episode ends with a call to subscribe, a plug for Scott’s upcoming book Work in Progress: Notes on Becoming a Man and Logan’s How to Not Die Alone, and a nod to the Centre for Social Justice’s report sparking this dialogue.

Key Takeaway

📉 Societal Decline for Young Men

Education & Employment: Boys are falling behind in school, with lower graduation and college attendance rates. A 40% increase in young men (ages 16–24) who are not in education, employment, or training (NEET) was reported.
Mental Health: Young men are more likely to take their own lives, and are significantly more vulnerable to depression, especially when lacking a father figure.
Criminal Behavior: Boys raised without a father are more likely to commit crimes, carry weapons, and deal drugs.
Loneliness & Addiction: There’s a rise in young men who are lonely, addicted (especially to pornography and video games), and disconnected from real-life community and purpose.

💔 Family Structure & Male Role Models

Father Absence: 25% of U.S. boys grow up without any father figure. This is linked to worse outcomes in education, mental health, and criminality.
Fewer Male Teachers: Only ~24% of educators are male, meaning boys often lack male figures in both home and school.
Loss of Male Mentorship: The disappearance of Boy Scouts and afterschool male-led activities has left many boys without guidance.

🧠 Biological & Developmental Gaps

Delayed Maturity: Boys mature more slowly than girls (neurologically and physically), affecting school readiness and long-term success.
Educational Misfit: Schools are designed in ways (e.g. sitting still, being organized) that align better with typical female behavior, leaving boys feeling out of place and punished more frequently.

👫 Dating and Relationship Crises

Mating Gap: High-achieving women often cannot find equally successful male partners due to education and income disparities.
Dating App Dynamics: Online dating has created a “winner-take-all” environment where a small percentage of high-status men get the majority of attention, leaving average men out.
Emotional Expectations: Women want emotionally intelligent partners, but men often haven’t been raised with those skills, creating a gap between expectation and ability.

🏠 Economic & Structural Factors

Disappearing Middle-Class Pathways: The decline of vocational training and manufacturing jobs has removed accessible paths to stability for non-college-bound men.
Inequitable Education Systems: College admissions have become hyper-competitive, crowding out average or struggling boys.

🧬 Gender Expectations & Misunderstanding

Conflicting Gender Norms: Men are now expected to be both traditionally masculine and emotionally open—a paradox many struggle with.
Perceived Power Imbalances: Both men and women believe the other gender holds more power in relationships, fueling mutual resentment and confusion.

🚨 Emerging Consequences

Rise of Online Extremism: Isolated, disaffected men are turning to misogynistic or nationalist communities for identity and meaning.
Social Withdrawal: A growing cohort of “asexual, asocial” men are dropping out of the labor market, relationships, and society entirely.
Marriage & Fertility Decline: Lower marriage rates (especially among low-income men) are linked to rising child poverty and lower birth rates.

🛠️ Solutions Suggested

Redshirting Boys: Delay boys’ entry into school to align with developmental readiness.
Men’s Groups: Creating safe, structured environments for men to share emotions, build community, and support one another.
Mentorship: Reviving male mentorship through afterschool programs, vocational training, and intentional community building.
Cultural Empathy: Encouraging society to understand and uplift struggling men without dismissing the progress of women.

Masculinity Debate - Diary of a CEO